See his left hand? Yeah, that’s not a mitten, or mudder’s pudding bag. It’s a bandage.

If anyone’s going to find trouble, it’s my lil’ Ginja Ninja. He had a slightly horrifying encounter with a treadmill over the holidays. He really shouldn’t be working out so often. After this incident, we are now avid supporters of childhood obesity. Pass the marshmallows.

It’s nothing serious, just second-degree burns to a few fingers. And hey, he’s got ten. I figure that’s six for necessity, and four to spare.

The best part about it? The trips to the Janeway Children’s Hospital. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Janeway (and I’m not just saying that because they’re a client.) But every couple of days we have to go in for a bandage change – and, of course, a green “pock-a-so.” (See photo above for clarity.) Waiting 2-3 hours for a dressing change, stewing in the cesspool of germs in the waiting room, is pure yuletide joy. A great place to have a nervous breakdown, I reckon; psych ward is just a couple floors away.

But hey, at least he’s on the mend. That’s what matters. In just a few more days, Max will have two fully functional hands with which to throw, scratch, grab, slap, probe, shake and rub Miracle Whip into his hair.

Speaking of miracles, it’s a wonder the Savage Patch Kid’s not in a full body cast.¬†Watch this:¬†Just an ordinary night at our house. (And sorry about the curse at the end. I meant the Baby Jesus. Because it’s Christmas – Jesus’ birthday and all that. I also said alleluia and half a dozen hail marys, but the camera went dead so you can’t hear it.)

Our first purchase in 2012 will be a hellmet. (Not a typo.) And maybe a couple mesh metal gloves. And a rubber jumpsuit. And heavy-duty birth control for mommy.

Or… anybody know where I can get one of those plastic hamster balls big enough for a 35-pound human? Is there a Rodents Big & Tall?