[turr-boe-gin-jer]
noun
1. a child with red hair, excessive energy, and fiery disposition. Also known as Gung-ho Ginger or Ginja Ninja.
2. Not to be confused with Cranky Pants, Turbo Ginger is full of life, emotion, and awesomesauce.
3. The most famous Turbo Ginger who ever lived: Chuck Norris.
4. Also not to be confused with the reverse – Ginger Turbo. (Don’t google it; you’ll regret it.)
5. Turbo Gingers are born, not made.
Take my 2.5-year-old, for instance. Such a good boy. But turn your head for half a second and he’s halfway to Bell Island in a stolen outboard motor.
A couple nights ago, we went throwing rocks in the pond; the poor bayman’s equivalent of SeaWorld. A thousand rocks would not have been enough for our lil’ stone-slinger. We had to drag him home. Literally. As literally as it gets.

Maybe it’s a toddler thing. Terrible twos and all that.
Maybe it’s a boy thing.
All valid arguments. But I’m not buying it.
This is the essence of the Turbo Ginger. Feisty, strong-willed, and mischievous. This is who Max is, who he has always been. From day one.
I have the photos to prove it. Let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?
His feet were the first clue. Canoes that said, I will crush you. With my feet.
And his flexibility. Wow. Boa constrictors had nothin’ on my reptilian rugrat.
By two months of age, he was working out. His biceps…
His abs…
And he was getting results. Flexing was like breathing.
He could scale any obstacle.
He even slept with one fist at the ready. Wake him up before he was fully rested and – BANGO – black eye for you.
Go ahead, make my day, b*tches. He bragged about his superhuman strength. And his manhood.
He was fearless. A real daredevil.
But by four months old, he had grown cocky. He started getting into trouble, as is common among the ginger subspecies.
He started experimenting with pot.
And cocaine. (Unbleached, whole wheat.)
And cocoa.
His emotions yo-yo’d, from the depths of despondence.
To extreme jubilation.
He began to let himself go, eating anything and everything.
His arsenal of weapons was growing daily.
And at Christmas, he staggered home drunk and stupid.
Passing out. Refusing to wear pants.
Surely there was something wrong with our boy.
But then it all became clear, when his hair started to sprout and swirl around his head in a tornado of crimson glory.
Aha. Now it all made sense.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a ginger.
Brace yourself, Self.
For high-speed chases.
Emotional wig-outs.
And a love so fervent, it burns.
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12 Comments 12 Comments on tur-bo gin-ger
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Lyn
October 17, 2011 at 5:30 pm (9 years ago)Wow what a awesome job you done Vicki, Max is a living doll…what a handsome little man,,,,,,love to u all xoxox
Mother Blogger
October 17, 2011 at 10:52 pm (9 years ago)Thanks, darlin’. He is a doll. You mean Chucky, right?
Roxanne
October 17, 2011 at 6:14 pm (9 years ago)I googled it….I regret it..
Roxanne
October 17, 2011 at 6:15 pm (9 years ago)However, on a more positive note, I loveeeeeeee your blog!
Mother Blogger
October 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm (9 years ago)Thank you, Roxanneeeeeeee!
Kayleigh
November 15, 2011 at 10:41 am (9 years ago)It was dark when I woke. This is a ray of snuhsine.
Kim
October 17, 2011 at 9:42 pm (9 years ago)This is hilarious, Vicki! I’m still laughing. Great pics and captions, as always. But I have to wonder, are you trying to get your husband arrested for child abuse with that first picture? :o) And that last one is just OMG adorable!!
Mother Blogger
October 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm (9 years ago)Max actually enjoyed it. He also enjoyed drinking from Splash’s water dish when we got home.
Tiffany
October 17, 2011 at 10:20 pm (9 years ago)“Ginja Ninja”, I LOVE all your posts thus far! Entertaining and heartfelt. Awesome job Mother Blogger!
Mother Blogger
October 22, 2011 at 10:59 pm (9 years ago)Thank you. I should have added Savage Patch kid to the list of alternatives. I just came up with that one today. Will be using it in my next post fo shizzle.
Lori Hogan
October 18, 2011 at 10:48 pm (9 years ago)Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
Mother Blogger
October 22, 2011 at 10:59 pm (9 years ago)Thanks for laughing!