So this is my first official blog entry. It’s for working mothers, which includes all mothers, really. (Stay-at-home mothers have one of the hardest jobs on earth, next to lion tamers and North Atlantic crab fishermen.) But I won’t bore you with things you already know. I’m here to say something different. Of course, I’m not sure what that is yet. I’ll just wing it and see what comes out, kinda like giving birth. Is it going to be ugly? Is it going to have goo all over it? Am I going to poop? Probably. But hey, it’ll be entertaining.

So, my first topic – time. There is never enough of it! I remember when I was on maternity leave, I’d go days on end without showering and eating nothing but muffins. I used to wonder what mothers did on mat leave, with all that TIME! Bah! Max sure showed me. He consumed me – my time, my social life, my nipples. Every three days, I’d look in the mirror, pick the blueberries out of my teeth and scrape the puke off my shirt. MILF? Yeah, if the F stood for Flog.

Now that I’m back to work, there’s a different kind of timelessness. I get up, wrestle with Max (and my hair) to get us both ready for the day, drop him off at the sitter, and get to work right on time, and by “right on time” I mean 10 minutes late, thanks to the Torbay Road shit snake. I work all morning, buy diapers and food at lunchtime, go back to work for the afternoon, and get home in time to feed, bathe and tuck the boy into bed, with some love jammed in there somewhere. Then I look at the husband. Nope, no time for that. I have bills to pay, work to finish, and sheep to count.

Then again, when you’re home with the kids with no escape except death, there is a little too much time, isn’t there? It’s barely noon and you’re already asking for sweet release, aka bedtime. We know we shouldn’t wish our time away — life is short! We’re fully aware that in 10 or 20 years, our hearts will ache for these days of choo-choo trains and apple sauce. And yet we urge time onward. Because, in spite of our superhuman, multi-tasking maternal skills, we are human.

I don’t have time for anything. Especially not this blog.