Turbo Ginger. Savage Patch Kid. Demon child. Beelzebub Boy. My little prince (of darkness).
Not everyone’s a fan of the monikers I’ve given my fiery-haired toddler. (I got your emails. Thank you?)
I get it. Bad mommy.
My mother even hates it when I call Max a “little devil.” Needless to say, she was not a fan of this Halloween costume:
What — he’s a helluva kid! Sheesh.
But I guess I understand the skepticism. I mean, how can a child this cherubic wreak so much havoc? It’s just not possible.
I’ll have you know – this ice cream cone was stolen.
Okay I confess, I’m a chronic exaggerator. I take moments of chaos and embellish the excrement out of them, omitting all the sweet moments in between. Moments when he is an absolute angel.
So, due to popular demand (from bat-shit crazy people) I now give you the gentler side of Turbo Ginger, in 6 snapshots. Max Murphy: Munchkin. Philanthropist. Humanitarian.
1. A champion of quadriplegics everywhere, Max cuddles up in his favourite blanket to watch TV. Nothing like watching Treehouse as a human stump. The light through the window isn’t sunlight, by the way; it’s Jesus giving Burrito Boy two thumbs way up.
2. A friend to all animals and woodland creatures, Max is especially kind to his bearded sister.
3. Ever respectful of the earth, he gently collects its fruits in nanny’s plastic measuring cup and devours them on the way back to the car.
4. He may be a joker, smoker and midnight toker. But he is also a gangster of love – kissing and hugging with ginger fervour.
5. I caught him with a knife once, but he’s no butcher. He’s a baker! And an advocate for old lady perms everywhere.6. He’s ambitious but humble, destined for a desk job. Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with a little middle management. Motto: Popsicles now, cubicles later.
See – nobody wants another mommy blog about how cute her kid is. So all you buttmunches out there telling me I should have my uterus removed with a pitchfork, this blog’s not for you. It’s for the funny-boned folk out there who can appreciate photos like this one.
Behold, my little angel…
You’re welcome. And I win.
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Leona
August 21, 2012 at 10:26 pm (9 years ago)LMFAO!!!! You are so funny and speak the truth! I have a little demon myself and can totally relate!! My son’s initials are actually B.A.D and he lives up to them!!
Gail
August 21, 2012 at 10:45 pm (9 years ago)Love it:) Keep writing…………… PLEASE:))
Roxane
August 21, 2012 at 11:38 pm (9 years ago)Glad to see you are back, missed my” weekly”????doses of funny…..Keep it up, never mind the naysayers….
Maria Murphy
August 22, 2012 at 1:22 am (9 years ago)OMFG that’s hilarious!!! And the creepiest thing I have ever seen. Ever. In life.
Paul Bateman
August 22, 2012 at 2:04 am (9 years ago)I thoroughly enjoy your blog. Unfortunately, I do not have kids of my own but if I did I would like to think I would show them off with the same sarcasm and humor you do. Keep up the great work and thanks for making me laugh!
neal
August 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm (9 years ago)I like to think that that intense little boy with the ice cream cone scoffs at merely taking sweets from other children; he has a large man crying in the fetal position on the floor behind him.
But that is a sweet moment between mom and child. Unless it’s a Hannibal Lecter moment. I which case, run!
Amanda
August 22, 2012 at 4:46 pm (9 years ago)Always perfection! Thank you and continue!
Veronica
August 22, 2012 at 5:57 pm (9 years ago)Love it, love it, love it… I too check back every few days for some new material to lighten my day, please don’t change a thing 🙂
Call Me Jo
August 23, 2012 at 6:58 pm (9 years ago)Bwahaha! What an adorable little Beelzebub.
I recently came across this little gem, thought you’d approve.
Rumor: Gingers have no souls.
Fact: A Ginger gets a freckle for each soul they steal.
petitegourmand
August 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm (9 years ago)SO Hilarious!
you never cease to crack me up.
leah parkins
September 19, 2012 at 10:59 pm (9 years ago)well im hooked lol .. cant wait till your ginger ninja gets to the teens ..thats were i am now
Charro Benteau
October 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm (9 years ago)Omg best picture EVER!! I’m totally jealous I do not have one of my 16 year old son like this one. Imagine the blackmail possibilities later in life!
Lori
October 22, 2012 at 1:23 am (9 years ago)I am officially a fan of your blog- hilarious, insightful, brutally honest, quirky, and yet, so very sincere with a genuine expression of love for your little ‘turbo ginger’ that it can’t help but make one smile. Please keep writing!!!!!
Mother Blogger
October 26, 2012 at 12:34 am (8 years ago)Thank you, Lori. Turbo Ginger thanks you too! xo