Halloween. It really is for the children, isn’t it? YEAH. RIGHT. Halloween is for people with babies!
We dress our babies up like pirates and ladybugs and Jesus (yes I did) before they even know who’s looking back at them in the mirror, and people go “Awwww how cute, how adorable, here ya go baby, some candy to mash around in your toothless gob.” Of course they can’t eat the stuff. They can’t even eat raisins yet…they’re a choking hazard! So mommy and daddy do the honours. Stuffing our faces with chips and chocolate and sugar on a stick while our drooling puppet babies just sit there and watch.
Okay so maybe that’s not entirely true. Halloween is also for girls in their twenties who want to dress like skankzillas. It’s okay, Miley Cyrus, I did it too. One year I went as Pippi Schlongsucking, I kid you not. I’d post pics but I’m really not in the mood for social services to come at me right now. Maybe some other time.
AND yes, Halloween is also for children. You know, kids who are old enough to understand what it’s all about. Max is four, and I think he gets it now. I mean, he doesn’t really get it (I’m not even sure I do), but at least now he’s an active participant in the annual festivities. He now gets to choose which costume he wears, for example. Here’s our Jedi knight looking full of the force. Until last week, he was saying “May the forest be with you.” Which I’m totally selling to the eco people.He’s really embodying the character of Luke too. Last night when his dad got mad at him for taking a second cookie, Max said: “Search your feelings, father. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.” (No he didn’t. He stomped his Jedi bootie and said “Umphfft, but I WANT one!” and grabbed a cookie and hid in the closet.)
But this is progress from last Halloween when he had no idea who he was dressed up as. It’s funny because last year’s costume was quite literally the ancestor of this year’s costume. But it was a little premature — about six months before he got bitten by the Stars Wars bug, so my future Jedi had yet to discover the dark side. He was all like “Dark Fader? Huh?” Luke, I am your father…and tell your mother this costume SUCKS ASS.
At least these last couple of Halloweens he’s been able to eat some of the candy. Unlike his second Halloween when we had to keep every last thing out of his paws; the little devil would eat a lollipop, STICK AND ALL. I don’t have a picture of him doing this exactly, but look at that face. YOU KNOW HE WOULD.
His third Halloween wasn’t so bad, but his costume was too small (damn you ebay) so I had to make “felt cookie extensions” for the arms and legs. With some extra felt cookie decals to distract from the ridiculous arm and leg extensions. Max also had an enormous wedgie but he didn’t seem to mind. Don’t judge me.
And by the way, yes Cookie Monster IS an appropriate costume for Halloween, because he’s a MONSTER. So there.
There’s nothing scary about Max’s very FIRST Halloween costume though, which takes me back to my initial point. Halloween is for people with babies. Max was just six months old and a lump of squishy flesh, so this was entirely for mommy’s amusement. My little lobster. Notice my totally rad props, including two kinds of lobster pots thank you very much. (Oh, what maternity leave can do to the mind…)